Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.
I'm a big fan of doing 'Triple D.' But I don't want to do it forever don't get me wrong! Travel away from my family are you crazy? But do you know what it does for these mom-and-pop restaurant joints? It changes their lives forever. I mean their businesses will never be the same.
You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.
We don't walk. We overeat because we've made it easy to overeat. We have fast-food joints on every corner. By the way the 'we' is all of us. It's not the government. It's all of us doing this together.
When I tour it's like well like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places the obscure barbecue joints burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing.